#135

With the weather. And a first submission of the collection. And my parents here, London almost seem bearable ...

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#134

Having kin around has been slightly difficult. Watching dirty socks on dirty floors didn't encourage me to clean the house. And I built a resentment to be assumed the cleaner. But in reality I think he doesn't expect me to clean it but can actually live in such a mess. Only I can't stand it...

Shoes are progressing... slowly and surely.

Had a line up couple of days ago. Felt rubbish about the work but the teachers seemed to like it... so that gave me some confidence. But its confidence that quickly faded as I start thinking maybe they just really realise there is not much I can do to change it...

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#133

Going to mainland China for fabric shopping. On the bus is a gentle reminder of a cultural past.

The lady in front of me picked up her phone, if translated literally, ' why you said you are there when you are.not pretty girl? Fuck your cunt I tried to ring your cunt phone. Your mom. I didn't have anything important to say. I won't cock bother. Your cunt. Did you go back to your hometown? Fucking cunt....'

To be fair she was annoyed and she did tone down afterwards . But it wasn't a fight. It was just a conversation.

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#132

Finally back in London and have arrived with four large cases that encased my collection. I feel so nervous about my collection and unsure how it will be perceived.

I go through even stronger bouts of anger and pride. And having kin here now isn't going to help with his snappy insensitive comments. I will need to resist when holding pins, to use him as a human voodoo doll.

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