#61

Dirk came from Holland since Wednesday. It was really nice to see him. But he has paid for his daughter's ticket to from to London to visit us from Vancouver. At such a critical year, I have to say I am a bit manic, selfish, and pretty much just vicious.

As Evon has said, after this year, her boyfriend would have seen the worst side of her. Unfortunately for Dirk, he sees the worst side of me on a regular basis. Today was no exception. Needless to say, fight fight fight. Nothing they say seems right, and I would feel everything they are saying is inconsiderate - hence my insane blow outs that has made people twice my size cry before...

The only note-worthy thing is that usually I find ways to think how he is so wrong. But this time, I know its mainly me that is the problem. School and stress really changed me. And man its ugly...

Even as I am acting this way, I can envision someone acting like this will not result in a happy outcome for their work. But like a strike to the knee, it must kick all my close ones in the face.

I need to reset my brain and carry that mind to the next day.