#74

Another situation I don't know how I get myself into is when I am helping a friend, some kind of terribly awkward situation always arrive between us. Maybe its because they are picky or I am a bad helper, but somehow I tend to fall short of expectations.

Like last night when I was suppose to help Ana with her RCA MA application. Instead of helping her during the night like I agreed to, I thought I would help her while we were at school so we didn't have to go to her house, which was really far away. I helped her cut fabrics at school but Jihye was to be the sewing lady of the day. Now I had nothing left to do and I thought I could be done early today. Since Dirk's daughter was leaving soon, I thought it was a good time to go to the arcade that night. But I guess it was my stupidity to mention that in front of Ana because to her I basically dropped out of the evening.

To which I told her it looks like the garment will be done soon. So I won't need to go to yours. Now I don't know how finished was the garment when she left at 6. But I started feeling bad and I offered to come. And this is where the issue always happen. I start feeling guilty, and I offer to help again or to do something else that takes time and energy. And the person getting help will start feeling like they have a right to be angry. And they do.

She ignored my calls for the rest of the evening. And somehow, even though I helped her during the afternoon, I still feel guilty and I know if we were to look back, it would somehow be my fault.